Portraits by Jocelyn M. Artistic Photography © 2007

By no means am I proclaiming to be an expert. All I can do is be transparent to you so that you glean some wisdom from my journey. I’ve started many companies. In the beginning, I did not seek God first when making decisions. I conceived the success and notoriety with a spiritual swagger, even though God did not give me permission to do it. I was gaining the world by losing my soul and nearly missed my destiny. Success can be taught, but the sign of real life is peace.  That is what was missing from my world. I knew I had to make a bold and radical change. It was time for me to get what I needed to learn from the “season” and move on. I was told that when my life was in alignment, my blessings would flow. I had to stop trying to finish what God already started in my life. God had dried up resources to get me to move on. God interrupted my life in order for me to be fulfilled. I was driving one morning listening to the radio after dropping my boys off at school. CeCe Winans was on the Yolanda Adams Morning Show discussing her latest album, speaking about one of the songs she wrote. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I came away from the interview with the revelation that my life was not about me, it is about me helping others.

I am valuable, important, and essential to the plans of God.

I officially tied up all loose ends with my business. I started the admission process for Regent University’s Master of Divinity program. While I did not know exactly what to do next, I knew that I needed to wait on God to give me further instructions. I have overcome the need to be affirmed by people, and the fear about what people will feel and say about me. Quite often, I would try to answer life’s problems through natural means when they need to be answered through spiritual means. I would pray daily for guidance and obedience. Meanwhile, I would try to revisit my past mistakes and figure out what exactly I needed to learn from them.

In order to go further with God’s election, I had to learn to forgive myself. My Bishop says that a person who cannot see the ultimate becomes a slave to the immediate. In other words, if I couldn’t see the big picture, I would become a slave to where I am now.

During one of our Bible studies at church, Elder Bernice King led us in corporate prayer.  I was released from the shame I was carrying. I suddenly realized that God allowed the expensive business mistakes to happen to me. There was a lesson I needed to learn before he could elevate me to the next level. 

While life tragedies may kill our dreams, they are God’s adjustments to our destiny. Failure does not disqualify what God has pre-qualified. By separating myself from my worldly desires and ambitions, I was showing God signs of maturity. 

I know that I am more than a conqueror in Jesus Christ. I am a walking manifestation for the invisible God. I am called to have influence in the lives of nations. 

I am not worried about how I will earn money, what my job title will be, or what I will do next. I know that as long as I am obedient, God will answer my prayers. I am giving myself permission to receive what I believe.

Ephesians 4:22-24 says, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it’s deceitful desires; to be made new in attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

I pray that you too, will find your purpose and receive all that God has in store for you.

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