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Career and Life's Purpose

Portraits by Jocelyn M. Artistic Photography © 2007
By no means am I proclaiming to be an expert. All I can do is be transparent to you so that you glean some wisdom from my journey.

I’ve started many companies. In the beginning, I did not seek God first when making decisions. I conceived the success and notoriety with a spiritual swagger, even though God did not give me permission to do it. I was gaining the world by losing my soul and nearly missed my destiny. Success can be taught, but the sign of real life is peace.  That is what was missing from my world.

I knew I had to make a bold and radical change. It was time for me to get what I needed to learn from the “season” and move on. I was told that when my life was in alignment, my blessings would flow. I had to stop trying to finish what God already started in my life. God had dried up resources to get me to move on.

God interrupted my life in order for me to be fulfilled.

I was driving one morning listening to the radio after dropping my boys off at school. CeCe Winans was on the Yolanda Adams Morning Show discussing her latest album, speaking about one of the songs she wrote. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I came away from the interview with the revelation that my life was not about me, it is about me helping others.

I am valuable, important, and essential to the plans of God.

I officially tied up all loose ends with my business. I started the admission process for Regent University’s Master of Divinity program. While I did not know exactly what to do next, I knew that I needed to wait on God to give me further instructions. I have overcome the need to be affirmed by people, and the fear about what people will feel and say about me. Quite often, I would try to answer life’s problems through natural means when they need to be answered through spiritual means. I would pray daily for guidance and obedience. Meanwhile, I would try to revisit my past mistakes and figure out what exactly I needed to learn from them.

In order to go further with God’s election, I had to learn to forgive myself. My Bishop says that a person who cannot see the ultimate becomes a slave to the immediate. In other words, if I couldn’t see the big picture, I would become a slave to where I am now.

During one of our Bible studies at church, Elder Bernice King led us in corporate prayer.  I was released from the shame I was carrying. I suddenly realized that God allowed the expensive business mistakes to happen to me. There was a lesson I needed to learn before he could elevate me to the next level. 

While life tragedies may kill our dreams, they are God’s adjustments to our destiny. Failure does not disqualify what God has pre-qualified. By separating myself from my worldly desires and ambitions, I was showing God signs of maturity. 

I know that I am more than a conqueror in Jesus Christ. I am a walking manifestation for the invisible God. I am called to have influence in the lives of nations. 

I am not worried about how I will earn money, what my job title will be, or what I will do next. I know that as long as I am obedient, God will answer my prayers. I am giving myself permission to receive what I believe.

Ephesians 4:22-24 says, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it’s deceitful desires; to be made new in attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

I pray that you too, will find your purpose and receive all that God has in store for you.

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Let's Talk about Career and Life's Purpose
Being a single parent and afraid....
Last Post 14 Jan 2009 12:36 AM by TooToo. 5 Replies.
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dorinda33User is Offline
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dorinda33

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22 Oct 2008 02:18 PM  
Hello DeShawn...

My name is Dorinda, and I'm a single parent. I have 3 children and just recently my nephew came to live with me... Its already a struggle taking care of the three that I have, but I cant turn my back on my family.. I work 40 hours a week and sometimes overtime, but it really hard trying to be a parent and work.. I cant be in 2 places at once. my youngest son is 5 and his father was murdered 2 weeks after his 3rd birthday.. That alone is really hard on me, because he is always asking why his father is dead... I have no answers for him. I'm starting to hate my job, and I want to go back to school, but I have no idea where to start... I'm afraid that I would fail, and failing is not an option in my eyes.... So if anyone has any answers, please help me.... Thank you and have a blessed day..
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26 Oct 2008 11:31 PM  

Hello Dorinda,

I don’t have any specific answers, but I do have some suggestions that may help.
First and for most I would say (take a deep breath) and take time out to sit down and evaluate the things that you want to change in your life. This would include your surroundings, your relationship with your children, your personal goals and aspirations... and definitely prayer. Sometimes things happen in our lives that challenges us ... things that are much-much bigger than we can handle.
That is when you have to hand it over to God and trust that he will bring you through anything. Next thing... make change :) and girl trust me I know change is easier said than done... but ask yourself this, do I want to continue to live the way I do unsatisfied with my life, when I only have ONE life to live. Girl it's about making the best with what God gave you (through trial and error) every single woman in this world has a story and have been through things much worse than you. Life is not promised to us Dorinda (girl get on it) you have to do what makes you happy.

As for school, you can go back anytime you are ready! College is not defined by age so even if you have to take classes online, to fit your work schedule, just to get started... that option is always available for you. I only want to inspire you to look at the bigger picture and know that you can overcome anything (even failure) which I don't think you would ever fail. You got this! Just take some alone time out for yourself and find out what YOU want to do to best define what will make you happy!

As for your son, I would start talking to him now… in a way that he understands. All you can do is love and support him through it all. But open communication is always best. But that is just a suggestion. I know that when I was as young as 2 my mother established a close friendship between us to where, by the time I turned 4 I told her EVERYTHING! So starting your relationship with kids early by talking to them and giving them a chance to be heard (by LISTENING) will allow them to trust you early on… and know that they can come to you without being afraid. At whatever age that you decide to tell him the truth about his dad, is completely up to you (as a parent) but it is never to late to start bonding with him at an early age so that he will come to you first.

Hope I helped in anyway,
You stay blessed,
Erica.

 

FuturelawrUser is Offline
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Futurelawr

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29 Oct 2008 08:24 PM  
I will being by saying I agree with EricaJ. Next i will say is your fear of failing is holding you back from living. I too am a single parent of 2 boys who's fathers never wanted to be in their lives. But we can't make excuses for them we have to continure raising our children. With that being said I am raising my children alone and I am going to school full time(online). Yes it is hard to do it all be in 50 different places at one time, but remember if you are worn down and to tired to go on it makes doing things that much harder. You have to first take time out for you, get your mental, emotional and spiritual self in order. without these things your no good to yourself or your children. Next you have to incorporate the day to day living into the lifestyle of your children. you can't do all of the cooking and cleaning alone. and if your children are old enough give them the resposibility of helping you with the chores around the house. (this teaches them responsibility along with accountability) Third write down everything you want to accomplish in your life and set realistic goals in completing them. (i have been in and out of college since 92 and i am finally working on my BA degree). like EricaJ said college will always be there. and finally, if your not involved in church get invovled. The Lord is you source for everything. beging to build a relationship with him(God) and seek like minded people who are positive that can be positive role models to you and your family.

I pray something i said will help you and if you need anything further please don't hesitate to ask that is why we are all here to help each other grow to be better than we were the day before.

Futurelawr
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30 Oct 2008 05:28 PM  
I too am a single mother of 4 kids; 3 teenage boy, and one 2 year old daughter. I have taken care of my boys by myself with some help from my mom who recently passed away in July with cervical cancer. I always wonder; when will I see some light? I love my kids so much but can't provide what they need all the time. Don't get me wrong I try my hardest to make sure they have the nice clothes and shoes and what ever else they need; But I often leave myself out. I put my life on hold for several years to take care of my mom and recover from an almost fatal relationship. I want to now have a relationship with GOD. I have so much faith now in him that he can make my life what I want it to be. I used to question him but have learned that you don't question GOD'S work. I still feel so empty and I know what I am lacking. I always say I will get more involved with church and make midweek services; but never do. I want to change all of this now. I watch Deshawn on The Real Housewives Of Atlanta; and I love the way she cares about others and always keeps out of the negativity of other people and things; most of all you can see her love for the Lord. I am 39 years old and I feel like what is my purpose? When will I get the blessing of a good man who wants to love me, go to church with me, take care of me, and be with only me? I know GOD does not intend for me be myself.
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Dorina

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04 Nov 2008 05:59 PM  
Hello , I am also a single mothers for two wonderful gils , 18 years olds and 17 , I am bless because , there are a good listening , and understanding ...I use this two words because my education to teached them are around this words , Dina my old one , just start her second year of bachelor degree of biology marines , she want to go for the master and finish for the PHD , Lenie just start her college credit and next september start the first year of bachelor to be a Profiler, there are working girls , they payed their own studies , and take the bus to go to the university and college , I receive in my appartment all their friends , I am very proud ...what you have to do whit your son , just take time and wait when he be old to understand to explaim to him about his dad , my two daugther never see they father for 10 years , he leave in france but ignore them ...I always give them the opportunity to talk about they father , no to juge and critisime him , just for remenber the good things about him...have faith are good and be stromg to show to your kids are good mother you are ...bless
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14 Jan 2009 12:36 AM  
Being a single parent is hard.Taking care of three kids is hard now you have your Nephew.If somebody from your family can watch the kids why you go back too shcool for free then that would help you out a lot.Keep in mind you still need your steady time.Working forty hrs a week or over time it depend on what type of job you have your hrs will get cut.You have too figure out will you still have too figure out can you support the kids with less hrs.Can you pay your bills with less hrs.Can you pay your car notice,gas,insurance,etc. Or you can have a live in nanny and off room and board for free and feed then for free.That would be there money.I remeber when I had too take my sister kids in and it was so hard.I couldn't work or go too school because my Nephew keep getting into trouble.Another way you can make money get your Nephew on the county and tell the social worker the situation.If you can get the money for him less hrs you need too work.And you can have your dream full filled.Don't let anybody tell you it is easy,because into they  been in your shoes they don't know.God bless you
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