In life many times we become the main agenda. Most of the time we get upset because we think it is about us. Even our prayers are about us. It is a spirit of lust.  Love gives at the expense of the giver (self). Lust takes at the expense of others. Lust is progressive in nature; you cannot satisfy a lustful spirit. It has been very hard for me in the past to develop lasting relationships. I have been burned many, many times—from childhood best friends to family members. I learned at an early age that at the end of the day, the only person I could count on was myself.

Love is patient. While it is waiting, it is kind.

I would go through life always second-guessing people and not getting emotionally attached.   Eventually it got to the point where it didn’t affect me at all. It was very simple for me to just cut people out of my life and never look back. I learned later in life that the coping mechanism I developed was very unhealthy. I knew that in order for me to walk in the full glory of God, I had to release the bitterness. I had to pray to God to soften my heart and to allow myself to forgive.

I received a message in bible study one day that was very relevant to my situation. I was reminded that we serve a God that is all about relationships. The people closest to us will determine the outcome of our life. Life is built on relationships. Proverb 18:1 says that an unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defiles all sound judgment. You can’t isolate yourself. This celebrates selfishness. We are not made to be dependent but interdependent.

Our highest potential is only realized when we take the risk to believe in one another. We need to become transparent. We don’t need to be involved with temporary relationships.

The following are requirements for a relationship:

• Invite people in your space who can make deposits in your life and in the lives of others.
• Spend time with giving people. It’s not about the amount; it’s about the heart.
• Spend time sowing word seeds into people who are ready to make life changes. Be mindful of whether or not my word is respected.
• Use the term friend lightly. A true friend is always loyal and a brother is born to help in time of need (Proverbs 17:17 TLB)
• Have friends that value God’s word more than relationships. They must be willing to correct you when you are wrong.
• Have someone to walk with that will stand up for you when you are not around. If someone is silent, that means they are in agreement.
• Be around people that will get you excited.

Marriage is the perfect example of a giving relationship. In Ephesians 5:21-22, we are taught to honor Christ by submitting to each other. We, as wives, are instructed to submit unto our husband’s leadership in the same way that we submit to the Lord. 

Submission for all of us is a daily challenge-especially for those of us who are used to controlling situations. 

If you don’t die to your ambitions, desires, and flesh, you will never walk in the fullness of the glory of God. Likewise, with marriage and other relationships we must consistently strive to live a life of sacrifice as Christ did for us!

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