I was recently informed by one of my best girlfriends that aonther best girlfriend of ours is now dating a guy that I was breifly involved with last year.  We were not in a relationship, however, we were intimate once.  Girlfriend P and I were friends and I introduced Girlfriend S to her. We started hanging out together everywhere, sharing secrets, going on trips. A true sisterhood. Girlfriend P intoduced me to her brother and we started communicating by phone and went on a couple of dates, met his mom and kids who I grew to really enjoy to be around.  It fizziled after a while and I started to date someone else a few months later who I am now in a relationship with.  He started to see someone else as well.  We remained friends even though it didn't work out. I am also still in communication with his mom.  Girlfriend P is not happy that Girlfriend S is now dating him. I agreed with her because I felt Girlfriend S took everything that she knew about me and him and used it. She even once asked me if I see myself in a relationship with him. Looking back, there were so many signs that he was digging her more than me. She is lovely person and has very infectious spirit about her that you can't help but to notice her. I love her spirit and don't want her to change a thing but I couldn't get past the two of them together. Girlfriend S communicates with Girlfriend P about how she feels about the situation and how she wants to tell me but doesn't know how.  Girlfriend P couldn't take it anymore and told me on her own and then told Girlfriend S that she told me because I deserved to know because we are friends (sisters). Girlfriend S stated to her that she still wishes to speak with me but has yet to do so.  It has been 2 days since I found out and still nothing.  I have gotten past it all now of them being together because I truely feel I have found the love of my life and plan to marry in the future.  Even if it were another guy, I would have still been upset with Girlfriend S. Girlfriend P is still upset because now she feels that our circle is broken.  It is to a certain extent because my friendship with Girlfriend S will never be the same. I would never have done that to her or any of my friends. It's the principle of the matter, like an unwritten rule. Girlfriend P told her that when she finally does call me to hear me out about how I feel about the situation and I should do the same. She also said that if I decide to limit my time around her and him out cut out completely that she should be understanding of it and push. Girlfriend S stated she doesn't understand why anything has to change and why we can't still be friends. That's where I have a problem. It will never be the same.

Hi Adina:

Although, I understand your frustration and hurt? You stated that you and this guy weren't in a relationship, but were intimate once- please don't think I'm attacking you when I say this- but that is why we have to protect our bodies, because for him it may have just been another fling and that may be very well what he told her (some men are just like that). But the other question is- you said that she took everything that she knew about you and him and used it- did you tell her what was going on between the two of you in detail, or did Girlfriend P tell her? Because she is a "friend" you should call her and get your questions answered. Really it boils down to this Adina- the dating/ single world can have some hurtful encounters sometimes- but it molds us and we learn from some of the decisions that we make. I don't know how much you shared with girlfriend S about this situation with you and the guy, but as a friend- if she had any knowledge at all about the two of you- then yes you need to talk to her and express your concern with her from a trust stand point. These types of situations grow us in our faith when waiting for God to send our husbands to us- we have to understand that God wants us to experience a lifetime of love, first with Him and then with our husbands. I would just look at this situation and say okay God I got it, I need to treat my body like your temple so that I may be blessed. God ordains marriage, so we know that it's His will for us to married and not just intimate. I don't want you be bitter, or loose a good friend (if she is one:-)

God Bless

Hi All,

I just want to say that I understand what Adina is expressing, it isn't so much she was intimate with the man, or even that Girlfriend S, is dating the man now, or what ever they are doing. The bottom line is, she is or was suppose to be her friend and she went sneaking behind her back. It doesn't matter that Adina is in a committed relationship now, what matters is that Girlfriend S, can't be trusted. She is sneaky. She didn't have to do things the way she did them, and Adina is having a hard time realizing what type of character she has been dealing with all this time. I'm sorry you had to experience that Adina. There are so many men she could have hooked up with and for her to hook up with someone you were seeing, rather dating, intimacy (only) or not it should not have been done. And.... if I'm not mistaken, Adina said she talks to the guy sometimes too. They both should have said something to her, and at least had some consideration for her feelings. And.... if Girlfriend S, is feeling like it's no big deal, then why did she sneak? And.... why hasn't she said anything yet?